Building Blocks

28 04 2009

[irony]

From the Mojave Field Office (MFO), California
Maurice Miller
January 6, 1953

To my dear colleague, Ronald Urey,

I have glad news to report, this day.  After scouring the valleys and basins for various bits of indigenous clay, I have, at long last found not one, but two specimens.  We may rejoice in our conclusive findings.  Although nature has, in her caprice, produced a vast number of irregularly-shaped clay pieces not suitable for the construction of a house, inevitability has caused the creation of two fine specimens that are both the size and shape of a standard masonry brick.  The building blocks of a house have now been shown to have been produced not by some human creation, but by the blind forces of Mother Nature, herself.  We have, proof positive, all of the evidence necessary to conclude the inevitability that a house might have become constructed by pure chance, alone.  If nature can produce for us a brick, then surely it can also produce a house, complete with running water and electricity.  If we can but show how such a house might have come to reproduce itself, then the unstoppable force of evolution must certainly take over, and skyscrapers would become the natural end-result of such humble beginnings.  The age of a human builder is finally over.  Modern thought will discern no need for a human designer, when chance and time can produce such as this.

Your friend and colleague,
Maurice

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From the ruins of Quatschkopf, Pennsylvania
Ronald Urey
March 12, 1953

Dear Maurice,

Certainly, one man’s loss is another man’s gain.  The entire city of Quatschkopf has perished in fire, leaving behind it the non-flammable millions of bricks, the building blocks of housing.  With this many bricks gathered together in one place, surely nature could do in a mere thousand years what would normally take billions of years.  We had estimated that two billion years was necessary for this to happen in nature, but divide that by the provision of a couple million bricks (a million times the number normally found in nature) and the process should be relatively rapid, being in the thousand-year range.  Surely within our lifetimes we shall see some evidence of this development.  To this end, I have secured from the government the rights to this now forbidden city, that I might observe its decay and natural erosion into a completed structure.  To my advantage, many of the walls are only partially toppled, which should help to jumpstart the process even further.

Your partner in sound science,
Ron

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From the ruins of Quatschkopf, Pennsylvania
Ronald Urey
June 18, 1983

Dear Moe,

It is with deepest regret that I write this assessment of the ruins.  It appears that not only has nature not constructed a single abode with the materials provided for her, but that she has heretofore squandered her provisions.  Not only have walls not spontaneously been built, but the partial formations already in place have deteriorated, mostly due to a foul and most unfortunate ivy.  I am hereby bound to uproot this most unnatural evil, but, alas, it is not only the ivy at work in the destruction of our hearts’ labor.  Rain and wind have also brought about a negative progress.  I will do my best to erect wind barriers and tarps to prevent the brick formations from falling to further ruin.  It’s a pity that I had not thought of this before now.  Thirty years is a long time to wait for nature to take her course, and I am not getting any younger.

Your partner,
Ronald Urey

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From the ruins of Quatschkopf, Pennsylvania
Ronald Urey
April 21, 1984

Dear Moe,

Alas, our efforts are in vain.  Despite my earnest attempts to overcome the negative effects of erosion, a flood has arisen and completely washed away what remained of the ruins.  The building blocks of a house were prevented by unforeseen events from naturally constructing themselves into a house without the aide of human intelligence.  I have petitioned the federal government for the right to burn down Pittsburgh in order to restart this program, but I have not thus far received favorable feedback.

Regards,

Ron

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From MFO, California
Maurice Miller
May 24, 1984

To Mr. Urey,

You have made us the laughing stock of the entire community.  The project, which was to be named after us, has now been titled after our first names.  I cannot live with having been a parent of the Moe/Ron experiment.  Please desist in your work and go home.

From,
Mr. Miller

[/irony]

jadesig

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