Dear Diary

23 08 2008

It is with a certain trepidation that I begin this blog.  My first inclination is to bolt like a wide-eyed rabbit, running for the safe anonymity of the nearest hedge.  Maybe that’s exactly what I should do.  Overall, my impression of blogging is that it is a very public diary.  You know how dairies all come equipped with those feckless little latches that couldn’t stop a six-year-old brother from reading your innermost thoughts.  Odds are, it’s because every diary writer has the secret subconscious desire to have someone curious enough to peek.  Why write a thing if there is no chance that anyone will ever read it?

Never mind.  I kept a journal once.  Perhaps, “kept” is not the correct word.  Rather, I wrote venomous entries in a spiral-bound notebook, only to re-read them days later and hate them enough to rip them out.  It seems that any opinion that I felt desperate enough to put on paper was an opinion that I was likely to disagree with shortly.  How then, can I express myself in a blog?  I might be the first to post a dissenting opinion at that rate!

Well, here it is, my first post.  I passed-over several incendiary topics for the first post, because I realize that this site is not yet fully refined.  I don’t find it becoming to make strong assertions while my title still says “Just another WordPress Blog.”  Sheesh…who could take me seriously?  The first question that I posed to myself was whether I could produce anything but blather.  After having spent some time perusing the various blogs that people put out there, I am convinced that producing a palatable piece is not something that comes from sitting down one evening and spewing catharsis all over the screen.  Some people seem to knee-jerk hard enough to kick their computer across the room.  They usually have a comment list a mile long from people more rational than them, trying to shed light in the blogger’s darkness.  And those are the interesting blogs.  Other blogs seem to be so down-to-earth that I find my self nodding-off in agreement.  I came back to consciousness once to realize that a thousand-word essay on something that I couldn’t argue with did a surprising about-face in the last paragraph to reach an awful conclusion, but I didn’t bother commenting, because I knew that there was no great likelihood that anyone else would ever read that far.  People can’t be convinced by an article that they don’t have the attention span to read, especially when there’s something good (so to speak) on the television.

I tried to be a professional writer, once.  In all honesty, I hope the manuscripts I submitted were never actually read by the publishers I sent them to.  The only responses I ever got were form letters, so that’s encouraging.  I tried re-reading a tome years after I had written it, and I could only hope that the publishing companies are wont to hire illiterate staff.  The next thing I send them will be an essay on the benefits of hiring non-English speaking illegal aliens.  They’re cheap!  They don’t leave a paper trail!  They’re absolutely immune to bad writing from English-speaking sophomoric writers!

So read it quickly.  I know I have a category for archived posts, but I have a feeling that none of them will ever make it there.  Blast…now how do I delete this thing?

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